I wanted to tell you, “no, don’t kill yourself,” but I can’t. Because I know exactly what are you feeling.
I feel also empty, lonely, like nobody wants to talk to me, even though they are free and not busy. I feel like I have no friend. I feel like I’m with no one. I can’t even determine what’s so wrong with me.
Every time I’m feeling this, I don’t know what to do. I do not cut. I do not do drugs. I have no way of escape except from art and writing. But I can’t create art when I am feeling devastated inside. I can’t fall asleep because I’m over-thinking. I can’t eat because I’m worrying. I can’t write because words are not coming, all failing. I can’t do anything, because I am absolutely feeling lonely and empty.
I’m trying to talk to people, but they are not interested of anything about me. I’m trying to go outside and have a walk but it’s still lonely. I’m trying to paint, write, draw, blog, but it is not working. I don’t know what to do.
Sometimes, I feel some kind of hope, because of the lies I continue to tell myself. Sometimes, I feel, “omg, this is it,” but it’s still not. I’m just fooling myself in order to create temporary happiness.
Right now, I’m still alive, hoping for a better tomorrow, wishing to have no more sorrow, and to have friends and be happy already.
I chose to carry on even though I have thousand valid reasons to give up. I don’t know the exact reason behind that.
Sorry, if I didn’t answer your question straightforwardly. This is all I can say to you for now because I’m also suffering loneliness and emptiness right now.